Sandy will have a new stent put in during the second week of March, about the same time that a new set of scans will be taken. This new chemo drug is a bit less friendly than the last one; we hope that means it is doing its job exceedingly well. Please pray for healing, a strong immune system, quality rest, a healthy appetite, and no fevers.
And in case you were curious…her birthday is March 5 :)
At the Glory Babies meeting at church tonight, God gave me a fresh picture of the idea of choosing thankfulness each day. I've been on this thankfulness journey for several years now, but sometimes it's good to have a new way of looking at things.
Imagine you are at one end of a street, and by the end of the day need to have walked to the other end of the street. Between your current location and your goal are one hundred puddles filled with muddy water. Also between your current location and your goal are one hundred nicely wrapped presents. The puddles and presents are all scattered about randomly, but in such a way that it is impossible to travel down the street without encountering quite a few of each.
On what will you focus? The puddles? Will you look from puddle to puddle, perhaps even tripping over the presents as you try to gingerly step over or around each puddle? Or will you keep your eyes on the presents, eagerly making your way from one to the next, joyfully anticipating what might be inside each one?
Focusing on the presents doesn't make the puddles disappear any more than focusing on the puddles would make the presents disappear. You're likely to slip into a few puddles even if you're focusing on the presents, and you'll likely finish the journey with mud on your clothes. But will you also have gifts in your arms? Or will you have left them unopened?
If I'm going to end up muddy on this journey, I want to have done it with delight, enjoying every good thing possible along the way. What about you? If I asked you how many presents you've encountered this week, would you know? Or would you instead be quick to tell me the long list of puddles that have been in your way?
I think it's time to put on some rain boots and start opening presents.
Friday, February 20, 2015
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Misconceptions…one drop at a time
Many people who ask me about mom have a general misconception about her overall health. The kind of funny thing is that there are two extremes to the misconceptions. One group of people think that she must be bedridden, frail, declining rapidly, and overall doing very poorly. The other group of people see her from time to time and are blown away by her appearance, smile, and strength. This second group is shocked that she looks "normal." Now, if you know my dad, you know he'd have a few comments to make about what "normal" is all about… :)
The truth? Both groups are somewhat right and somewhat wrong, all the time. Did that clear it up for you?
You can't ask mom how her day was if you want an easy answer. You'd need to ask how she is right now, or how her night went, or how the morning had been. Things change, sometimes very quickly. She seems prone to fevers that all but knock her out, complete with flu-like symptoms and extreme fatigue. When the fever lifts and she is able to rest some, she looks and sounds great! On her pre-cancer scale of feeling good, from 1-10 with 10 being excellent, perhaps her best days are a 6 (I didn't ask her…this is just my observation) and her worst days are a 2. I doubt she'd claim a 1 since she's always looking for the bright side and is always aware that things could be worse.
I don't know how she feels about this, but sometimes I struggle a bit with responding to people, well-meaning as they are, when they have these misconceptions. If they think she's on death's bed, I instantly want to prove to them that she's doing well and will be here for decades to come. If they think it's amazing how great she's doing, I kind of want to tell them the hard parts of recent days.
But, really, I think I understand the hearts and intentions of everyone who asks, and I'm thankful for their concern, interest, and prayers. They are thankful that she is doing as well as she is, and they are concerned for her. They earnestly want her health to be restored, and desire to have many more opportunities to live life together.
And that's what we want too.
So we continue to turn worry over to God, offer sacrifices of praise regardless of how much good we can see in any given moment, and squeeze every last drop of goodness out of each day. Some days seem to have only a few drops, but from my experience with essential oils, I know that a single drop can be potent, especially when diffused throughout a room!
Let's not miss the drops of goodness in each day. Instead, let's seek to diffuse that goodness throughout the day, allowing God's blessings to permeate our thoughts, attitudes, words, and actions, reaching those with whom we come into contact.
How's mom doing? She's living life, taking the ups and downs in stride, and enjoying the blessings - one drop at a time.
The truth? Both groups are somewhat right and somewhat wrong, all the time. Did that clear it up for you?
You can't ask mom how her day was if you want an easy answer. You'd need to ask how she is right now, or how her night went, or how the morning had been. Things change, sometimes very quickly. She seems prone to fevers that all but knock her out, complete with flu-like symptoms and extreme fatigue. When the fever lifts and she is able to rest some, she looks and sounds great! On her pre-cancer scale of feeling good, from 1-10 with 10 being excellent, perhaps her best days are a 6 (I didn't ask her…this is just my observation) and her worst days are a 2. I doubt she'd claim a 1 since she's always looking for the bright side and is always aware that things could be worse.
I don't know how she feels about this, but sometimes I struggle a bit with responding to people, well-meaning as they are, when they have these misconceptions. If they think she's on death's bed, I instantly want to prove to them that she's doing well and will be here for decades to come. If they think it's amazing how great she's doing, I kind of want to tell them the hard parts of recent days.
But, really, I think I understand the hearts and intentions of everyone who asks, and I'm thankful for their concern, interest, and prayers. They are thankful that she is doing as well as she is, and they are concerned for her. They earnestly want her health to be restored, and desire to have many more opportunities to live life together.
And that's what we want too.
So we continue to turn worry over to God, offer sacrifices of praise regardless of how much good we can see in any given moment, and squeeze every last drop of goodness out of each day. Some days seem to have only a few drops, but from my experience with essential oils, I know that a single drop can be potent, especially when diffused throughout a room!
Let's not miss the drops of goodness in each day. Instead, let's seek to diffuse that goodness throughout the day, allowing God's blessings to permeate our thoughts, attitudes, words, and actions, reaching those with whom we come into contact.
How's mom doing? She's living life, taking the ups and downs in stride, and enjoying the blessings - one drop at a time.
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
'Mell the Roses
We had the most gorgeous weather on Monday - pretty unbelievable for January! It was especially appreciated because Monday was Grandpa's funeral. We were blessed and encouraged to see so many people in attendance. The great-grandkids were each given a rose after the graveside service was over. The kids sure looked nice, all dressed up; the roses added a nice touch to some pictures we took as the kids roamed around the cemetery. One of the youngest kids kept walking up to people and asking if they wanted to smell his rose…except he left off the "s" in "smell," so he asked "Do you want to 'mell my rose?" It was cute, and made many people smile or even chuckle. I don't think anyone turned him down on his offer, either.
In the midst of a bittersweet day, as we officially said goodbye to Grandpa, we had the opportunity to 'mell some figurative roses. As I reflected on the day, it was as if God gently whispered that each and every day He has roses for me to 'mell. Am I too busy to notice? Too focused on trials or disappointments to "bother" with 'melling a rose? He doesn't shove a rose in my face, forcing me to 'mell it, but He does offer it to me. Perhaps it is a beautiful sunset (you may prefer beautiful sunrises, but I find it hard to appreciate things at that time of day!), a kind word, a yummy cinnamon roll, the presence of loved ones, new beginnings, or even the realization that since things could be much worse, what we have is a blessing - all around us, every day, there are roses to 'mell.
Sometimes we have to sit still long enough to become aware of the roses being offered to us. It seems that what we focus on will increase - either trials or blessings - but in reality, the frequency doesn't change. If I choose to focus on the good, I'll begin to notice more and more good that has been there all along. It won't negate the difficult circumstances; it's quite possible to feel both sadness and thankfulness at the same time, possible to see beauty amidst brokenness.
I'm not ignoring the loss of Grandpa just because I'm telling my kids how he taught me that the human stomach has a special compartment reserved for dessert, so even if you're legitimately too full to finish dinner, you certainly have room for dessert. And I'm not ignoring the fact that my mom has cancer just because we laugh together and create fun memories and choose to focus on what we have rather than what we don't have.
You aren't guaranteed tomorrow. It's time to 'mell some roses.
Friday, January 16, 2015
MDA Update, new stent, a few changes, Grandpa
Sandy's trip to Houston for updated scans went pretty well. Her bilirubin was up, and they saw a slight progression of the tumor. (We consider "slight" to be relatively good news - perhaps not what we wanted, but certainly not terrible for a type of cancer considered to be aggressive.) Starting next week, her chemo will use a different drug, and will include a port to administer the drug for 46 hours after the three hours of infusion at the cancer center.
The doctors determined she needed a new stent right away, so this morning she was at Wesley for the replacement. Everything went smoothly - in fact, she was pleased as punch to be released a mere five hours after arriving! Not having to stay overnight makes a world of difference.
While in Houston, Rod received word that his dad was not doing well. Upon arriving back home, Rod right away went to Grandpa's place. Within about an hour, Grandpa died. We are very thankful Rod was able to be there, though it was, of course, difficult.
Life is all about perspective, isn't it? Mom's life right now isn't what she had expected, anticipated, or hoped, but it sure is still full of blessings. She has some struggles physically, at times really big struggles, yet they pale in comparison to much of what she observed in Houston as she watched other patients, many of whom were in wheelchairs and in very poor health. She commented that "there are things worse than death." One thing worse than death is living in fear of death, or living in bitterness because things aren't as we wanted.
Please pray for healing, sufficient energy levels, zero side effects from the new drug, and peace surrounding the death of Rod's dad.
The doctors determined she needed a new stent right away, so this morning she was at Wesley for the replacement. Everything went smoothly - in fact, she was pleased as punch to be released a mere five hours after arriving! Not having to stay overnight makes a world of difference.
While in Houston, Rod received word that his dad was not doing well. Upon arriving back home, Rod right away went to Grandpa's place. Within about an hour, Grandpa died. We are very thankful Rod was able to be there, though it was, of course, difficult.
Life is all about perspective, isn't it? Mom's life right now isn't what she had expected, anticipated, or hoped, but it sure is still full of blessings. She has some struggles physically, at times really big struggles, yet they pale in comparison to much of what she observed in Houston as she watched other patients, many of whom were in wheelchairs and in very poor health. She commented that "there are things worse than death." One thing worse than death is living in fear of death, or living in bitterness because things aren't as we wanted.
Please pray for healing, sufficient energy levels, zero side effects from the new drug, and peace surrounding the death of Rod's dad.
Friday, January 2, 2015
Christmas, New Year, little hospital stay...
Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! We hope you were able to enjoy many blessings this holiday season. We spent time together eating, playing games, and just doing life together.
Sandy continues to have ups and downs, sometimes mere hours apart from each other. She is learning to guard her energy, spending it a little at a time so she can have enough for what is needed.
Many of you have seen the video that our church made. If you have not, or want to see it again, here is the link: https://vimeo.com/115013190
At the church Christmas program, my daughter watched closely as the actors walked through a door that was part of the set. She finally asked me why they didn't just walk around the edge of the set, a few feet away, as that would be easier. It struck me that we're often that way with God. We see what He is doing and we wonder why He is choosing that path rather than the one that seems obviously easier, less painful, and perhaps even more effective. Yet we must trust that God, in His infinite wisdom, HAS chosen the best path, regardless of how it may seem to us. We need to keep walking through that door on the set, willingly playing the role God has assigned to us, trusting that He will bring meaning, value, and purpose out of each of life's circumstances.
Sandy will travel to TX for updated scans/tests/labs in a few weeks. Please pray for safe travels, wise doctors, stamina, peace, and healing.
Last night, due to a lingering fever, fatigue, and general malaise, Sandy's doctor instructed her to go to the hospital for labwork and testing. She was admitted and will be there until at least tomorrow. They are looking into whether she needs a new stent; the preliminary results indicate a possibility of a blocked and infected stent. This is not the way she hoped to spend the end of Christmas break, but we are thankful this was caught before turning into anything worse.
Sandy continues to have ups and downs, sometimes mere hours apart from each other. She is learning to guard her energy, spending it a little at a time so she can have enough for what is needed.
Many of you have seen the video that our church made. If you have not, or want to see it again, here is the link: https://vimeo.com/115013190
At the church Christmas program, my daughter watched closely as the actors walked through a door that was part of the set. She finally asked me why they didn't just walk around the edge of the set, a few feet away, as that would be easier. It struck me that we're often that way with God. We see what He is doing and we wonder why He is choosing that path rather than the one that seems obviously easier, less painful, and perhaps even more effective. Yet we must trust that God, in His infinite wisdom, HAS chosen the best path, regardless of how it may seem to us. We need to keep walking through that door on the set, willingly playing the role God has assigned to us, trusting that He will bring meaning, value, and purpose out of each of life's circumstances.
Sandy will travel to TX for updated scans/tests/labs in a few weeks. Please pray for safe travels, wise doctors, stamina, peace, and healing.
Last night, due to a lingering fever, fatigue, and general malaise, Sandy's doctor instructed her to go to the hospital for labwork and testing. She was admitted and will be there until at least tomorrow. They are looking into whether she needs a new stent; the preliminary results indicate a possibility of a blocked and infected stent. This is not the way she hoped to spend the end of Christmas break, but we are thankful this was caught before turning into anything worse.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Welcome, new stent!
Sandy had an ERCP today at Wesley to replace her stent. The "old" one did not have any problems, but doctors had agreed to replace each stent after 8 weeks of use. Everything went well, and Sandy ought to be home tomorrow morning.
Thanksgiving is in a few short hours. We are thankful for many things, including the past three months of life. We're thankful for crazy text messages, thanks to autocorrect. We're thankful for faithful friends, provision, and more than enough opportunities to develop and strengthen our character.
Sandy could choose to complain about yet another ERCP and another stent, another stay in the hospital, another round of lab work, IV pokes, and hours without food or drink. She could choose to complain about decreased energy and stamina or the mild nausea she has experienced since beginning chemo. She could complain about the few hundred pages of math tests she has to grade, not to mention upcoming final exams.
But she isn't complaining. Sure, she has rough moments; she'd be the first to admit her weaknesses. However, she is choosing to be thankful. She is thankful this ERCP and stent happened before a blockage occurred. She's thankful for a great team of doctors and nurses. She's thankful for the reminder that food and water are a blessing, and thankful that she has been able to continue working, visiting friends and family, filling up the car with gas, grocery shopping, vacuuming, cooking, and washing dishes. She is thankful for the continued opportunity to invest in lives of college students, including the chance to encourage them as she grades tests.
In an attempt to follow her lead, I'm choosing today to be thankful for many things that are not quite how I would have planned as well. I'm thankful we have a neighbor who helped bandage our dog's leg, thankful the blanket that disintegrated in the washing machine did not break the washing machine, thankful I have friends who gladly offer to help when I take on more than is reasonable, and thankful my kids chose to watch an educational movie…even if it is loud enough for people to hear a mile away. I'd better sign off and take care of that last one :)
We wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving. Remember to give thanks! It's a choice we all get to make :)
Thanksgiving is in a few short hours. We are thankful for many things, including the past three months of life. We're thankful for crazy text messages, thanks to autocorrect. We're thankful for faithful friends, provision, and more than enough opportunities to develop and strengthen our character.
Sandy could choose to complain about yet another ERCP and another stent, another stay in the hospital, another round of lab work, IV pokes, and hours without food or drink. She could choose to complain about decreased energy and stamina or the mild nausea she has experienced since beginning chemo. She could complain about the few hundred pages of math tests she has to grade, not to mention upcoming final exams.
But she isn't complaining. Sure, she has rough moments; she'd be the first to admit her weaknesses. However, she is choosing to be thankful. She is thankful this ERCP and stent happened before a blockage occurred. She's thankful for a great team of doctors and nurses. She's thankful for the reminder that food and water are a blessing, and thankful that she has been able to continue working, visiting friends and family, filling up the car with gas, grocery shopping, vacuuming, cooking, and washing dishes. She is thankful for the continued opportunity to invest in lives of college students, including the chance to encourage them as she grades tests.
In an attempt to follow her lead, I'm choosing today to be thankful for many things that are not quite how I would have planned as well. I'm thankful we have a neighbor who helped bandage our dog's leg, thankful the blanket that disintegrated in the washing machine did not break the washing machine, thankful I have friends who gladly offer to help when I take on more than is reasonable, and thankful my kids chose to watch an educational movie…even if it is loud enough for people to hear a mile away. I'd better sign off and take care of that last one :)
We wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving. Remember to give thanks! It's a choice we all get to make :)
Thursday, November 20, 2014
2nd day of chemo coming up!
Sandy has her second day of chemo this week. So far she has felt reasonably well - fatigue and some nausea, but both very manageable. She has discovered some fun new teas and candies that help with the nausea. I'm waiting for her to find a tea or candy to help with fatigue :)
We are headed into the holiday season - somehow, Thanksgiving is only a week away! There is so much for which to be thankful. Cancer has highlighted all of the things we hope and pray we don't lose, but at the same time, we realize that those are the very things we are blessed to have in the first place. It seems silly, and downright wasteful, to spend today grieving a potential down-the-road loss when we can instead celebrate having those things right now.
Sandy has enjoyed being back in the classroom these past few weeks, and she is gearing up for everything that comes with the end of a semester. Glad to be back in the church choir, she is looking forward to the annual Christmas program on December 14 and 15. She would love to see you there!
We wish you all the most blessed Thanksgiving! Let the baking begin!
We are headed into the holiday season - somehow, Thanksgiving is only a week away! There is so much for which to be thankful. Cancer has highlighted all of the things we hope and pray we don't lose, but at the same time, we realize that those are the very things we are blessed to have in the first place. It seems silly, and downright wasteful, to spend today grieving a potential down-the-road loss when we can instead celebrate having those things right now.
Sandy has enjoyed being back in the classroom these past few weeks, and she is gearing up for everything that comes with the end of a semester. Glad to be back in the church choir, she is looking forward to the annual Christmas program on December 14 and 15. She would love to see you there!
We wish you all the most blessed Thanksgiving! Let the baking begin!
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