Nothing new

It's been a few weeks since the last update, but, medically, there's really nothing new to report! And that is probably good. We enjoyed a fun Easter together with family and a few friends. There is much to be thankful for.

Scan results

Quick update - the latest scans show that everything is stable. We take that as good news. The doctors will continue looking at lab work each week to monitor everything. Please pray that chemo is effective and without side effects. There's a chance she'll need to have the stent replaced sooner than expected, but we will see. Happy Wednesday!

Home!

Sandy was able to go home Sunday evening. Thanks for the prayers!

End of Spring Break Update

Sandy had a full spring break week. She made cinnamon rolls with a friend, visited several people, hosted a dinner for cousins, and played with grandkids. And then she came down with a fever. After some lab work came back, her doctor prescribed an antibiotic. Unfortunately, it did not take care of the fever. On Friday, she received a few hours of fluids, and on Saturday she was admitted to St Francis. They anticipate a stay of a couple days as they figure out what is going on and how to fight the infection. Sandy is, understandably, discouraged, because she has better things to do than lay in a hospital bed feeling crummy! She has had several visitors, and continues to be encouraged by the love she is shown. Hopefully she will be home soon.

This week we anticipate receiving the results of her latest scan. I'll post once we have that information.

Thanks for the continued prayers for healing and peace.

Many times we have a plan for our lives - a logical plan that includes the fulfillment of hopes and dreams. We have ideas about relationships, careers, finances, ministry, retirement, and health. Frequently, however, life doesn't end up as we had planned. We talk about moving on to Plan B. Or Plan C. Or Plan ZZZ…! We might be disillusioned, frustrated, or even bitter or angry. Yet I don't think God has a Plan B for our lives, or anything other than The Plan - Plan A.

Before sin entered the world, there was a perfect plan that included perfect health, pleasurable work, and fulfilling relationships. Because sin is all around us, we cannot have the ideal life our heart longs for - at least not on earth. Don't misunderstand me - I am in no way implying that disease or loss is the result of an individual's personal sin. There are instances that include a clear cause and effect, but much of the time there is not a direct link between our actions and our trials.

God knew each event that would occur in Sandy's life. This is not His Plan B. We may not understand how it could be His best for her, but we trust His wisdom and his love. We have already seen positive things come from this journey, which is yet another proof of His faithfulness. Imagine how life might be different if we approached each day believing that the day contained God's best for us - GOD'S best, not our human idea of what is best. Just as a parent lovingly gives a child medicine or says no to one thing in order to provide something better (despite kicking and screaming by the child), God lovingly gives us what is best, regardless of how much (little?) we understand, approve of, or enjoy His plan.

Walking through a storm when you know you're loved by the one who tells the wind and rain what to do makes the storm bearable. It even enables you to see glimmers of a rainbow in the distance. Do you trust Him?

Puddles and presents

Sandy will have a new stent put in during the second week of March, about the same time that a new set of scans will be taken. This new chemo drug is a bit less friendly than the last one; we hope that means it is doing its job exceedingly well.  Please pray for healing, a strong immune system, quality rest, a healthy appetite, and no fevers.

And in case you were curious…her birthday is March 5 :)

At the Glory Babies meeting at church tonight, God gave me a fresh picture of the idea of choosing thankfulness each day. I've been on this thankfulness journey for several years now, but sometimes it's good to have a new way of looking at things.

Imagine you are at one end of a street, and by the end of the day need to have walked to the other end of the street. Between your current location and your goal are one hundred puddles filled with muddy water. Also between your current location and your goal are one hundred nicely wrapped presents. The puddles and presents are all scattered about randomly, but in such a way that it is impossible to travel down the street without encountering quite a few of each.

On what will you focus? The puddles? Will you look from puddle to puddle, perhaps even tripping over the presents as you try to gingerly step over or around each puddle? Or will you keep your eyes on the presents, eagerly making your way from one to the next, joyfully anticipating what might be inside each one?

Focusing on the presents doesn't make the puddles disappear any more than focusing on the puddles would make the presents disappear. You're likely to slip into a few puddles even if you're focusing on the presents, and you'll likely finish the journey with mud on your clothes. But will you also have gifts in your arms? Or will you have left them unopened?

If I'm going to end up muddy on this journey, I want to have done it with delight, enjoying every good thing possible along the way.  What about you?  If I asked you how many presents you've encountered this week, would you know?  Or would you instead be quick to tell me the long list of puddles that have been in your way?

I think it's time to put on some rain boots and start opening presents.

Misconceptions…one drop at a time

Many people who ask me about mom have a general misconception about her overall health. The kind of funny thing is that there are two extremes to the misconceptions. One group of people think that she must be bedridden, frail, declining rapidly, and overall doing very poorly. The other group of people see her from time to time and are blown away by her appearance, smile, and strength. This second group is shocked that she looks "normal." Now, if you know my dad, you know he'd have a few comments to make about what "normal" is all about… :)

The truth? Both groups are somewhat right and somewhat wrong, all the time. Did that clear it up for you?

You can't ask mom how her day was if you want an easy answer. You'd need to ask how she is right now, or how her night went, or how the morning had been. Things change, sometimes very quickly. She seems prone to fevers that all but knock her out, complete with flu-like symptoms and extreme fatigue. When the fever lifts and she is able to rest some, she looks and sounds great! On her pre-cancer scale of feeling good, from 1-10 with 10 being excellent, perhaps her best days are a 6 (I didn't ask her…this is just my observation) and her worst days are a 2. I doubt she'd claim a 1 since she's always looking for the bright side and is always aware that things could be worse.

I don't know how she feels about this, but sometimes I struggle a bit with responding to people, well-meaning as they are, when they have these misconceptions. If they think she's on death's bed, I instantly want to prove to them that she's doing well and will be here for decades to come. If they think it's amazing how great she's doing, I kind of want to tell them the hard parts of recent days.

But, really, I think I understand the hearts and intentions of everyone who asks, and I'm thankful for their concern, interest, and prayers. They are thankful that she is doing as well as she is, and they are concerned for her. They earnestly want her health to be restored, and desire to have many more opportunities to live life together.

And that's what we want too.

So we continue to turn worry over to God, offer sacrifices of praise regardless of how much good we can see in any given moment, and squeeze every last drop of goodness out of each day. Some days seem to have only a few drops, but from my experience with essential oils, I know that a single drop can be potent, especially when diffused throughout a room!

Let's not miss the drops of goodness in each day. Instead, let's seek to diffuse that goodness throughout the day, allowing God's blessings to permeate our thoughts, attitudes, words, and actions, reaching those with whom we come into contact.

How's mom doing? She's living life, taking the ups and downs in stride, and enjoying the blessings - one drop at a time.

'Mell the Roses

We had the most gorgeous weather on Monday - pretty unbelievable for January! It was especially appreciated because Monday was Grandpa's funeral. We were blessed and encouraged to see so many people in attendance. The great-grandkids were each given a rose after the graveside service was over. The kids sure looked nice, all dressed up; the roses added a nice touch to some pictures we took as the kids roamed around the cemetery. One of the youngest kids kept walking up to people and asking if they wanted to smell his rose…except he left off the "s" in "smell," so he asked "Do you want to 'mell my rose?" It was cute, and made many people smile or even chuckle. I don't think anyone turned him down on his offer, either.

In the midst of a bittersweet day, as we officially said goodbye to Grandpa, we had the opportunity to 'mell some figurative roses. As I reflected on the day, it was as if God gently whispered that each and every day He has roses for me to 'mell. Am I too busy to notice? Too focused on trials or disappointments to "bother" with 'melling a rose? He doesn't shove a rose in my face, forcing me to 'mell it, but He does offer it to me. Perhaps it is a beautiful sunset (you may prefer beautiful sunrises, but I find it hard to appreciate things at that time of day!), a kind word, a yummy cinnamon roll, the presence of loved ones, new beginnings, or even the realization that since things could be much worse, what we have is a blessing - all around us, every day, there are roses to 'mell.

Sometimes we have to sit still long enough to become aware of the roses being offered to us. It seems that what we focus on will increase - either trials or blessings - but in reality, the frequency doesn't change.  If I choose to focus on the good, I'll begin to notice more and more good that has been there all along. It won't negate the difficult circumstances; it's quite possible to feel both sadness and thankfulness at the same time, possible to see beauty amidst brokenness. 

I'm not ignoring the loss of Grandpa just because I'm telling my kids how he taught me that the human stomach has a special compartment reserved for dessert, so even if you're legitimately too full to finish dinner, you certainly have room for dessert.  And I'm not ignoring the fact that my mom has cancer just because we laugh together and create fun memories and choose to focus on what we have rather than what we don't have. 

You aren't guaranteed tomorrow. It's time to 'mell some roses.