Sandy had prepared herself to wait until midnight for the drain placement procedure, as she was 10th in line for the radiology department. When the nurse came in at 5:30pm to take her to the procedure, she was almost giddy. I bet she's the first person taken down to radiology for this procedure who has ever said "I'm SO GLAD to be here right now!!" She just really wants to get out of there and go home! Now if that fever would just cooperate….
Everything went well. They were able to insert a pigtail catheter through the mass (the one that's been there since last year…the one we're praying just disappears) and drain the blocked bile duct. An outside drain was also put into place. I visited her tonight, and while she did not complain, it's apparent that she is not currently a fan of the long tube going from her abdomen down to her ankle, where a bag collects the fluid drained from the bile duct. We're not sure how long the drain will be her new closest friend.
We didn't talk about when they think she can go home, nor did we talk about the disappointment regarding missed events. Instead, we took her some freshly made cranberry salad, gooey cinnamon rolls still warm from the oven, and some dark chocolate treats.
Tonight I watched a short video describing the difference between empathy and sympathy. It said that empathy joins the hurting person, is vulnerable enough to relate to the pain at least on some level, and focuses on connection rather than on formulating the "right" response. Empathy, according to this researcher (Brene Brown), rarely says "at least…" Some examples: You have cancer? At least you still have some hair. You are missing a family gathering? At least you have family you enjoy being around.
Thank you for being a community - a family - that values connection and shows empathy. And thank you for being here for the long haul.
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