Thanksgiving Update

Sandy saw both girls and their families on Thanksgiving.  Katie hosted dinner, and Sandy especially enjoyed dressing, sweet potatoes and pumpkin custard, all of which are on the approved food list!  This Thanksgiving she’s been overwhelmed by the abundance of God’s blessings both big and small. 

She continues to be thankful for her current doctors and medical support team, all of whom are very responsive and available. Not having to wait months, weeks, or even days for answers and direction is such a blessing. She is also extremely thankful to have Rod by her side, faithfully helping her in a myriad of ways. Last week Sandy mentioned something she wanted to have done but couldn't do herself. Minutes later, Rod had taken care of it! Now if he could just train the kids....

There have been some really rough days this fall, yet Sandy is focusing on turning all things into gratitude – including her thoughts. It is a habit, and it is strengthened by repetition. 

For example: the lights inside her van don’t work correctly, and it can be annoying to be in the dark...but she is very thankful to have a working van.

On her way to work a few weeks ago, she hit a deer – it ran off, and Sandy's fine, though she didn’t realize the extent of the damage to the van until she reached school and couldn’t open the door. Thankfully the van will be fixed at the end of this semester, and Rod, along with one of his friends, was able to tweak the door enough for it to open so she doesn't have to crawl across the seats...not a good idea for someone with drains, tubes, and less strength than she'd like to have.

It is so easy to take for granted "little" things, like a warm house, a pillow, running water, laundry machines, shoes, and more toilet paper in the cupboard when one roll runs out. If we're glad for those things, let us turn that to thanksgiving! We can practice the habit of gratitude on the easy things, building our gratitude muscles so they can handle tougher tasks, like being thankful in the midst of hardship, crisis, or long-suffering.

Since the last update, Sandy has had a drain exchange as well as three procedures to drain excess fluid from her abdominal area – each time removing approximately 5 liters, which is 1.3 gallons. While she typically feels much relief after a procedure (called a paracentesis), a few times she has experienced residual pain. She is thankful for pants of many sizes and belts to assist with her ever-changing waist size.

Rod and Sandy, the girls and their husbands, and all the grandkids gathered for family pictures several weeks ago. It is always fun seeing how the kids grow year to year, and everyone treasures the physical reminders of the blessing of family.

Sandy is enjoying listening to a cd of songs that have to do with joy. Some are upbeat while others are soothing. Music is one of Sandy's favorite things, and it is a great way for her to move her thoughts from her circumstances and onto God's promises. Sometimes we need to sing the truths our hearts can't quite say. 

Her Christmas tree is up, the singing stuffed animals are in their places, and other decorations representing years of memories are slowly finding just the right spots for the next month. The kids have started talking about the annual Christmas Story play...we'll see how the newest two members of the bunch change things up...last year they were both too small to participate, but this year they just might be too mobile NOT to participate!

Looking ahead – Sandy is thankful to be able to finish out this fall semester; the last final is Dec 10. Her goal is to teach this spring and then retire; we’ll see if God’s plan is the same. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." God's idea of straight is sometimes very different than our idea of straight. What seems crazy to us makes perfect sense to Him. What feels out of the way, a waste of time, or circuitous is straight to Him. 

Sandy wanted to share this verse with you: "Once you were less than nothing; now you are God’s own. Once you knew very little of God’s kindness; now your very lives have been changed by it." 1 Peter 2:10

Has your life been changed by God's kindness? It's a promise that we absolutely will experience when we trust Him with our lives, including the parts that are hard and don't make sense.

Thanksgiving might officially be over, but the habit of gratitude need not end. We challenge you to write down 5 things every day for which you are thankful. Sandy would be happy to read your list and rejoice with you in the big or small ways you've been impacted by God's kindness. Remember, it's a promise!

Inspiration

Many people have commented along this journey that Sandy inspires so many. While it's true that many are inspired to trust God, choose joy, not complain, and serve others by watching her life choices, she'd be the first to tell you that anything good in her is 100% the Lord. Her human nature is as strong as the next person, though she has many years of strengthening the habit of accepting God's will regardless of how pleasing (or not pleasing) it seems to be. She has times of discouragement, visits to the pit of despair, disappointment, and frustration. But she chooses, by the grace of God, not to stay there. The great news is that each of us has that same option! We can be the boss of our emotions, giving them space but not authority to dictate how we will believe or live. Nothing we feel is wrong - it's what we do with what we feel that crosses into right or wrong. It can be a minute by minute battle at times, repeating truth to ourselves when our situation screams otherwise.

Yes, it's great to appreciate how wonderful Sandy is in the midst of such difficult circumstances. But please remember the source of her strength, joy, stamina, perseverance, and faithfulness. God promises to enable us to carry out that to which He has called us.

This week has felt long for Sandy, but she's thankful she's been able to teach, visit grandkids, and shop for groceries. She is waiting to hear from her doctor about specific foods she can eat, and she may consult with a dietician in the next few weeks. Please pray for those details and for increased energy and strength. And of course, healing and a liver that functions well!

Home again

Sandy returned home this evening. She is thankful to be in her own house, to sleep in her own bed, to be unhooked from the IV, and to be able to taste foods, though she's currently on a very limited diet. She won't be at church Sunday but plans to teach on Monday. I'm guessing many of you are kind of shaking your heads in a mixture of wonder and confusion about that last part :)

There were many things about the past week that were exceptionally difficult. Sandy might share more about that in a later post. She is thankful for your prayers, calls, texts, flowers, and cards, all of which helped her choose thankfulness in spite of everything going on.  She had her first ever latte on Friday, branching out from her usual black coffee. That's living large, I tell you! She also enjoyed listening to piano hymns and country hymns on Pandora and YouTube. Music can be a powerful way to connect our hearts to God, especially when our minds and emotions are struggling to hold on to hope. She spent some time looking through a picture album of Bible verses, and was reminded that reading God's Word is the antidote to fear, worry, and anxiety - three things that steal our attention from where it ought to be.

Another 4.8L were drained from her abdomen this morning. It's incredible to think that nearly 10L of unnecessary fluid were in her system this week. We're hoping it does not continue accumulating so quickly...or at all!  It is likely caused by the disequilibrium of pressure between the vessels of the liver and the surrounding abdominal area, which is a common side effect of decreased liver function.

We'll leave you with this truth, gleaned from a telecast Sandy heard about today: God is not (ever) withholding good from us. He is preparing us to experience His goodness. We can trust what His hand allows, and forever look with hope and even anticipation toward what He will bring.

Here's a song you might enjoy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8TkUMJtK5k

You unravel me, with a melody You surround me with a song Of deliverance, from my enemies Till all my fears have gone I'm no longer a slave to fear I am a child of God I'm no longer a slave to fear I am a child of God From my mothers womb You have chosen me Love has called my name I've been born again, into a family Your blood flows through my veins
I'm no longer a slave to fear I am a child of God I'm no longer a slave to fear I am a child of God I'm no longer a slave to fear I am a child of God I'm no longer a slave to fear I am a child of God I am surrounded By the arms of the father I am surrounded By songs of deliverance We've been liberated From our bondage We're the sons and the daughters Let us sing our freedom You split the sea So I could walk right through it My fears were drowned in perfect love You rescued me and I Stand and sing I am child of God You split the sea So I could walk right through it You drowned my fears in perfect love You rescued me and I will Stand and sing
I am child of God, yes I am I am child of God I am child of God, yes I am I am child of God, full of faith, yes I am child of God I am child of God I'm no longer a slave to fear I am a child of God I'm no longer a slave to fear I am a child of God

Getting closer

Sandy anticipates going home Saturday. She is on a clear liquid diet...plus coffee :) Visitors are welcome, just keep in mind that she is still regaining strength and energy, so please keep visits fairly short.

Stent is in!

Around 11 this morning, Sandy went down to radiology. They replaced both drains and inserted a metal stent to keep the intestines open, allowing food to properly process and move through her system. As of 4pm, she was back in her room, eating a lemon icee. This is a huge step in the right direction. Doctors anticipate she'll be in the hospital two more days. There was still barium in her digestive tract, but apparently not too much to impede the placement of the stent. I'm not sure I was clear in a previous update - the barium was given to Sandy on purpose last week Thursday in order to do a test to check on the function of her digestive system. It should have left her body within hours, not days, but because of the extent of her blockage, the barium has just lingered. It isn't good to have barium in your system that long; hopefully this stent will allow any remaining barium to exit.

Please pray for her body to heal, for the stent to work, and for the stent and two drains to remain clear and unblocked. Also pray for her body to correctly process fluid so she does not continue to have the build up of fluid - it is not ideal to need to remove 5 liters as was done yesterday.

Thank you for continuing to support Sandy and our family.

Hunting for the Good Things

Latest report is that radiology will take Sandy down at some point on Tuesday to scan her abdomen, checking barium presence and exact proximity of the two drains and the blockage. Assuming all goes well, a stent placement will be attempted on Wednesday.

It was a rough day. Being uncomfortable, with possible hard things ahead, many unknowns, having to make plans for others who cover in your absence, and not having answers you or anyone else wants to know is quite a challenge.

We are striving to look for the good. We're looking to see God at work, whether it looks like we had expected or not.

Specific prayer requests include total removal of barium with zero lasting effects, joy and hope to increase, easy insertion of the stent with immediate positive results, and comfort as she is largely confined to a bed, struggling to reposition in the sea of tubes and ever-tangled bedding.

Stomach drained

We haven't known what to post on here for awhile, in part because nothing new has happened. Those of you who have talked to Sandy know that the summer was pretty rough. While there were definitely things for which to be grateful, memories made, and better days here and there, overall it was plain hard. Sandy continued to have immense abdominal discomfort, with minimal hope of improvement, of course other than God's miraculous healing. Appointments would be scheduled two or more weeks out, then a procedure or test a few weeks after that, never resulting in improvement. This week she had a test that determined that not only was her stomach full of "stuff" that had been there far too long, but there is a blockage preventing food from traveling as it should in her system. Friday afternoon she had her stomach drained. In case you were wondering, that is not a fun experience. It took five attempts for the tube to reach the proper place, and it was a painful process each time. She later said that it was the most painful thing she has experienced to date...and that is saying a lot. One overnight stay was guaranteed, and we are hoping that is the extent of this visit. Hopefully today (Saturday) the doctors will place a stent to keep the intestines open. The other option is a surgery that of course comes with its own risks. There is a chance that the stent, if it is the route doctors decide to take, won't be placed until next week since we're now into the weekend. You can imagine her lack of excitement about that possibility.

Please pray for her healing, comfort, placement of the new stent, quick recovery and release, and for her to see the good God is bringing out of this new development. We know He always brings good, though we're not promised to see it.

Sandy requested not to have visitors at this point, as she first needs to feel stronger.

All along this journey she has chosen faith, courage, and thankfulness. Those are still her choices, though it is harder right now. It reminds me of the Bible story of Moses, in Exodus 17 -- as long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning the battle. But when his hands grew tired and lowered, the Israelites began to lose. So Aaron and Hur held up his hands until the battle was over. We have the opportunity to hold up Sandy's hands right now. We can pray for strength, stamina, peace, courage, determination - all of the things we've seen God display in her life. And we can strive to demonstrate those qualities in our own lives, that others may see God's power in us.

We'll update as things progress. Thanks for your continued support and friendship.

Rough going

Sandy is not feeling well. This has been going on for quite some time, and there isn't a known solution yet. Between abdominal pressure and pain, weakness, and overall just feeling gross, she is struggling. This week she had a drain replaced due to a blockage. A CT scan revealed additional lesions on the liver. One medication was increased to hopefully help with the discomfort she feels after eating. Discomfort is not a strong enough word, though she continues to strive to be positive and not complain. Maintaining a smile is both very beneficial and very tiring.

Please pray for physical comfort, quality sleep, ability to eat and absorb the nutrients, and for some doctor - any doctor! - to come up with a plan to help her.

She is teaching one class every day this month, and is working on plans for the fall semester.

Several people have asked how they can help...and she appreciates each offer. Right now she is able to do what she feels needs to be done, and she wants to be able to continue doing those things. She acknowledges the strong possibility of needing help down the road and will gratefully accept help when that time comes.

Thank you for your continued support.

Latest Trip to TX

Sandy returned from TX this week with new results and a new plan. New to us, but not new to God. Cancer markers were significantly higher and new lesions on the liver were present, indicating the chemo has not been effective. Inflammation is suspected to be the reason she has been unable to keep food down for several weeks, which has led to continued weight loss.

Chemo has been discontinued, new prescriptions have been started, and we're awaiting the results of additional tests that will determine her eligibility for clinical trials of an up-and-coming treatment.

This is discouraging news, though we remember that our hope is in God and not in tests. Outcomes are not limited by what doctors, with all of their experience and knowledge, tell us. Sandy is planning to enjoy several days on the lake with a friend for their annual vacation before teaching in July and gearing up for the fall semester. And there are quite a few grandkids looking forward to their sleepovers at Grandma Sandy's and Papa Rod's house. She is going to keep going as long as she can, striving to enjoy each day, as we all ought to do.

Thank you for praying for the end of the semester's workload - she was able to attend classes and final exams, complete grades, and attend graduation. The TX trip went smoothly, and they made good time coming home. She has pretty flowers in all of her flower pots, she found a couple pairs of capris that fit regardless of the ever-changing size of her abdomen, and she has been able to attend church each week.

Please pray for physical comfort, absorption and digestion of food/nutrients, wisdom, peace, and physical strength.

Below is the link to a song that she wanted to share with you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNkDdXhjFy0

Natalie Grant
"More Than Anything" I know if You wanted to You could wave Your hand Spare me this heartache and change Your plan And I know any second You could take my pain away But even if You don't I pray Help me want the Healer more than the healing Help me want the Savior more than the saving Help me want the Giver more than the giving Help me want You Jesus more than anything You know more than anyone that my flesh is weak And You know I'd give anything for a remedy And I'll ask a thousand more times to set me free today Oh but even if You don't I pray Help me want the Healer more than the healing Help me want the Savior more than the saving Help me want the Giver more than the giving Oh Help me want You Jesus more than anything When I'm desperate and my heart's overcome all that I need You've already done When I'm desperate and my heart's overcome all that I need You've already done Oh Jesus Help me want You more than anything Help me want the Healer more than the healing Help me want the Savior more than the saving Help me want the Giver more than the giving Help me want You Jesus more than anything Help me want You Jesus more than anything

Slow Crawl

Sandy continues to struggle with weakness and fatigue. Thankfully the swelling due to water retention has resolved itself. However, on Saturday, her foot started to hurt so intensely that she could not put any weight on it. She was glad to have a walker and wheelchair in the house to use as she continued to prepare for Easter Sunday with the family.  On Sunday her foot was maybe 50% better; she could walk carefully and slowly. She plans to be at work this week...please pray for stamina, energy, and healing - both of her foot and of her body in general.

We've been through so many ups and downs, especially after each hospital visit. Each time she has been admitted, it has been for cholangitis. A quick online search reveals that cholangitis (infection in bile duct) is a very serious matter, and can have a lengthy recovery process. Sandy has dealt with this type of infection at least ten times. Each time, she has bounced back. This time it is just harder to do that.

Easter was a special time with family, good food, and a 32 degree temperature egg hunt....the kids all enjoyed their visit at Grandma and Grandpa's house.

Thanks for your continued support.

Pioneer Sandy

Much of the proposed treatment for bile duct cancer is based on the experiences of others who have been diagnosed with the same disease. For the most part, patients follow one of several paths which are fairly well known to doctors. Sandy, however, continues to break the mold. Nobody seems quite sure what to do with her next! While that can be frustrating, it is also a continual reminder of how God has preserved her life. This is a good time to not follow standard procedure!

Sandy will have labs done this week, as she does now every week. One drain had been draining but has now all but stopped, and the other one had been very slowly filling up but now is filling more quickly. She will likely have a scan soon to determine whether those changes are indicative of blockages or of healing. 

Last week she had a procedure to take care of the bile duct that had ruptured. She continues to deal with low energy and less stamina than she prefers, but she is glad to report that she has had several consecutive days without a fever!

She spent some time this weekend preparing Easter baskets and color coded eggs for the great egg hunt of 2018, complete with one empty egg for each grandchild to help them remember that we celebrate Easter because of the empty tomb. Jesus is alive! And He alone is the reason we have any good thing. 

Sandy returns to the classroom on Monday, and she is looking forward to (finally) turning in that big project we asked you to pray about. Who knew that crisp, brightly colored folders and a nifty label maker could make such a big difference? :)

We wish each of you a very Happy Easter, and encourage you to thank God for the gift of Jesus overcoming death, providing a way for us to not only have hope here on this earth but also to have the promise of eternal life - complete with perfect joy, peace, health, and probably copious amounts of Dove chocolate.

Freedom!

It has been quite a week. Our "routine" ER visit kept going and going. Let's call it the Energizer Bunny Visit. That makes it sound much more fun.

Sandy's fevers were very uncooperative this week. Despite numerous medications, her temperature kept spiking and pain was fairly constant.

Several tests were administered. A drain, the type she had several months ago, was placed to remove biliary fluid that could not drain through the bile ducts because they were occluded. The next day both stents were removed because they were blocked, and later a second, smaller drain was placed since one of the tests showed a pocket of fluid that needed to be removed.

Based on the cholangiogram, it seems that the drain is servicing both ducts. A repeat cholangiogram will be performed within the next week to make sure the drain is still effective.

Sandy will have follow up appointments with the oncologist, the infections disease doctor, and the interventional radiologist. 

She's been instructed to rest. Rod told the doctors that doesn't happen - when she's released, she returns to work. However, they have convinced her to actually stay home and rest this time. Spring break is next week, which will help with that.

There are many unknowns. Please pray that pain is minimal, drains continue to work, and that doctors agree on a plan going forward.

Same Song, New Verse

Sandy is currently visiting her friends at Wesley, this time from a bed in the CCU. She had both stents replaced during a hospital stay last week, but continued having fevers and pressure, resulting in Thursday's trip to the hospital. Late Thursday night she had a procedure to insert a drain because the stents were not handling the bile fluid appropriately. Right now the drain is connected to an external bag, which ought to be removed once the infection has cleared and things are back to "normal." Since we had such problems with drain exchanges causing infections in the past, we are somewhat concerned, though clearly the stents are resulting in similar problems right now, so it's perhaps just part of the journey. Sandy has had quite a bit of discomfort today, so she has been instructed to rest and stay on top of pain meds. Everyone there knows by now that she's planning a family lunch this weekend and needs to be home...hopefully things will go as she desires. There has been some concern about her blood pressure being on the low side, which is part of why she is in the CCU instead of on a "regular" floor. Please pray for healing, rest, and continued optimism. As many of you know, continually dealing with illness and/or pain can be exhausting, and the mind battle can become intense. Thankfully we serve a God who is bigger than all of that.

This is NOT a choose-your-adventure story....

Ever since returning from Houston in mid-December, Sandy has not been feeling "herself."  She had little appetite, was losing weight, and had little energy or stamina.  Plus, whole-body itching had resumed.  Her January, 2018 hospitalization revealed the necessity of a double stent exchange (she has one stent in each of the two bile ducts).  One stent was infected.

Since being released from the hospital, the itching has continued and even intensified.  Due to out-of-range labs, she was scheduled for a CT January 22.  The imaging revealed two new lesions on her liver.  As one doctor put it, "Your kind of cancer likes to go to sleep for a while and then wake up in new locations."  It appears that's exactly what has happened.  

Sandy was on chemo for 30 months, beginning November 2014.  She then had a 10-month chemo vacation.  Hallelujah!  

But...the vacation is over for now as she resumed chemo Monday, January 29. 

Now hold on.

This isn't what we wanted or would have chosen, given the opportunity. BUT let's just take a stroll down memory lane.

Do you remember when this all began? When the diagnosis came in, then the unsuccessful surgery followed by more "bad" news? Then the prognosis of 6-12 months to live? Do you remember all of the ER visits, sepsis, massive infections, blockages, disappointing test results? 

That was not 6-12 months ago. Several years have gone by. Several grandkids have been born. Trips have been taken, relationships started, enriched, and renewed. Countless people have been touched by her story, encouraged by God's obvious faithfulness through it all. Doctors have been wrong about many things...in a great way. They've also been right about many things, some we've liked and others not so much. 

So here we are in a new chapter. Though it looks much like a previous chapter, we don't know the plot twists that are coming our way. We can choose to despair over what we know and what we fear or we can choose to take those very real feelings to God and ask for His perspective, moment by moment. 

Believe there is good to be found.

Look for the good.

Find the good.

Celebrate the good.

Share the good.

As for Sandy...she is already looking forward to the next chemo vacation. 

Please pray for her stamina and energy, for itching to stop, for all cancer to be eradicated, and for her to continue to take thoughts captive and trust God through it all. Pray for opportunities to share God's love and provision even in hard times. Pray for a smooth spring semester of teaching and advising. And pray that she can continue doing all the things that bring her joy and that give God glory.

I'd like a double, please.

Remember how the last set of stents was supposed to last awhile? Remember how life rarely goes how we think it is "supposed" to go? Yes. That is our story. Actually, it's God's story, so everything has been as it was supposed to be....

Since the last Houston trip, Sandy has experienced off and on pain, pressure, fevers, and overall discomfort. She has played the go/don't go to the ER game several times. Finally, this week Thursday she had a routine appointment at the Cancer Center. However, her temperature was up and continued to climb while she was there, as it has done many afternoons lately. After seeing how she was doing, the doctor arranged for her to go straight over to St. Francis for admittance. The staff at the Cancer Center took great care of her, staying with her and making sure she was warm, helping her get a prescription without getting out in the cold, and keeping her at the Center until her room at the hospital was ready for her.

Friday morning her labwork confirmed that there was a problem with a blocked stent, so around 9:30 she went in for a double stent exchange - double because when one is disturbed, the other one moves as well, requiring both to be exchanged. The procedure went well, and she has been back in "her" room recovering and waiting to be discharged. The latest news is that she can go home Sunday afternoon.

Thanks for your continued prayers. We know many of you are also dealing with difficult situations, and we're praying for you as well, that you will feel God's presence and peace, that you will be filled with joy and see the many blessings that surround us rather than the hard things that seem to scream for attention. Find the blessing, give thanks for the blessing, tell others about the blessing. See you soon!